


Everything I didn't Say

by Sadlyamundane



Series: Tumblr Prompts [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec is bamf, Human AU, Light Angst, M/M, Poor Raphael just wants to be happy with his boyfriend, Victor Is An Asshole
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-24
Updated: 2017-04-24
Packaged: 2018-10-23 12:50:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10719678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sadlyamundane/pseuds/Sadlyamundane
Summary: [Prompt] Simon is a pop star and writes songs about his boyfriend Raphael, but Raphael is upset because Simon uses female pronouns and pretends he's straight in the songs





	Everything I didn't Say

**Author's Note:**

> Songs used:  
> 1- They don't know about us ~ One Direction
> 
> 2- Everything I didn't say ~ 5sos

“So, what did you guys think?” Simon asked and set his guitar to side. His manager Victor Aldertree studied him for another moment before delivering his comments.

“The songs good, potential hit” Simon grinned, he’d spent months writing this song for Raphael. “There’s only one problem” Victor added and Simon frowned “I know you love your boyfriend and all that but you’re our rising star, your fan base are primarily young girls, all I’m saying is, change the pronounces or find another record label to produce your music”

~~  
“I have a new song, I just finished” Simon announced to the small crowd he was playing to in New York city. “I wrote it for someone very special” his eyes scanned the crowd and stop at the front row where Raphael, Isabelle, Clary, and Magnus was seated “I hope you like it” 

The fans at the front row noticed the direction in which Simon, looked. Many of them began speculations, whether it was Izzy or Clary that Simon talking about. Raphael tried not to let it bother him and focused on his boyfriend as the band began to play the song. 

“People say we shouldn’t be together.  
We’re too young to know about forever  
But I say they don’t know what they’re talk-talk-talkin about”

Simon sang and Raphael felt his heart began to beat faster. Ever since Simon got sign to Idris’ record label, their relationship had to become more private, basically none existent. And no matter how much Raphael loved and support his boyfriend, it hurt that he had to be seen as Simon’s “friend”. 

He hadn’t thought about how the situation had made Simon feel, not until now. 

“’Cause this love is only getting stronger.  
So I don’t want to wait any longer  
I just want to tell the world that you’re mine, girl.  
Oh”

“Oh” Raphael repeated and blocked out the rest of the song. It was one thing to have to spend dates with your boyfriend at home, having to have one of the girls with them whenever they wanted to go out. Turning simple things they did together into group activities because of the label. It was still heart breaking to know that he’ll never publicly be Simo’s someone special. 

~~  
“Where are you going?” Magnus called after Raphael as he pushed his way through the crowd.

“Why? Simon said Victor has a big announcement and he wants us, he wants you to be there” Magnus said as he followed his best friend through the crowd. 

“Why does he want me there? So I can smile and play best friend while everyone debate which girl he’s sleeping with? No thank you?” Raphael snorted and slipped on his jacket. 

~~   
Raphael spent the night in Magnus’ spare room, afraid to go home to his and Simon’s apartment. 

“Morning snowflake” Magnus greeted when Raphael sat down on the stool by the kitchen counter “coffee?”

“Yes, please” Raphael answered and snorted and the sight of the 102 miss calls from Simon and several text messages along with numerous voice mails. 

“He came by earlier” Magnus said as he poured Raphael his coffee “wanted to see if you were here, I told him you’d talk to him when you’re ready” 

~~  
“Oh, you’re finally home” Simon asked when Simon swung the door open to their apartment to days later. Simon got up from the crouch and followed Raphael to their bedroom. “Raph? W-what are you doing?” Simon frowned as Raphael silently packed his clothes into a duffle bag.

“What does it look like” Raphael snorted and zipped the bag out. 

“Rapha, are you mad at me?’ Simon asked and grabbed hold of Raphael’s hand. 

Raphael took a deep breath and turned to face Simon. “I’ve always supported you, and I always, but I don’t” Raphael paused and turned away from Simon “I can’t do this anymore, and I could never ask you to choose between me and your career. Goodbye Simon” 

“Can, we please talk about this?” Simon asked, his voice cracking as he fight off tears. 

“There’s nothing left to talk about” Raphael called out and shut the door behind him.

~~  
Days turned into weeks, and eventually two months had passed and Simon’s US tour with Maia Roberts and the Jade Wolf’s had come to an end. 

“What’s this?” Raphael asked as he sat down in Magnus’ living room. Two tickets sat on top of their newspaper. The name Simon Lewis was marked in bold letters, a homecoming show. 

“Please come with me” Magnus sat across from Raphael “I’m meeting Isabelle’s brother tonight, be my wing man?” 

“You’ve never needed a wingman before” Raphael smirked “you just want me at that show”

“yes, you got me there Santiago, you’ve foiled my master plan” Magnus deadpanned.

“I’m not going” Raphael shook his head and got up “I’ll be late for work; I’ll see you later”

“It starts at eight, I’ll text you the address and your ticket will be at the booth” Magnus called out before the door slammed shut.

~~  
“He might still come” Clary reassured Simon. They stood close together in the cramped backstage area. 

“You didn’t see his face, Clary” Simon sighed “I really messed up”  
“He loves you, Simon” Clary smiled and adjusted Simon’s jacket “You’ll walk out there and Raphael will be right in the front row, now go break a leg – and figuratively speaking this time” she laughed as she exited to get to her seat. 

“Big show tonight, the new head of the record label is, impress him” Victor greeted Simon “go make those little girls fall in love with you”

~~  
The crowd cheer was muffled by Simon’s heart beat as he stepped onto the stage. His eyes scanned the crowd for Raphael but he wasn’t there.

Simon his eyes to calm himself before he began to sing. 

Halfway through the show Simon walked to the edge of the stage. The empty seat between Magnus and Clary was now filled.

“Two months ago I messed up and I lost the love of my life” Simon spoke as he looked directly at Raphael “I hope he can forgive, I’m sorry Raphael”

A shocked silence fell over the crowd and Simon could see Victor’s angered expression from where he stood in the aisle. 

Simon silently signaled the band to start to play the song he had wrote. 

“Wait, don't tell me  
Heaven is a place on earth  
I wish I could rewind all the times that I didn't  
Show you what you're really worth”  
“The way that you held me  
I wish that I'd put you first  
I was wrong I admit, numb from your kiss  
While you were slipping through my fingertips”   
Simon sang as he seated off the stage and towards Raphael.

“Taking every breath away  
With all of the mistakes I've made  
From all the letters that I've saved  
This is everything I didn't say  
I wish I could've made you stay  
And I'm the only one to blame  
I know that it's a little too late  
This is everything I didn't say  
This is everything I didn't say”

Simon took Raphael’s hand and held tightly as he finished off the song. “Do you forgive me?” he asked when the music stopped.   
Raphael looked from Simon to the crowd.

“Well, do you?” A fan asked. 

“Yes, I forgive you Si-” Raphael’s words were drowned out by the cheer of the crowd. 

Simon handed the mic off to Clary to wrap his arms around Raphael “I love you so much”

“I love you too” Raphael sobbed.

“I’ll see you later” Simon kissed Raphael’s cheek as crowd hollered and returned to the stage. 

~~  
“What the hell were you thinking” Victor snapped at Simon after the show had ended. Clary flinched and stood behind Magnus.

“No one cared Victor” Simon said and held on tightly to Raphael’s hand.   
“Simon, that was amazing” Isabelle cheered as she pushed through the door, a tall dark hair man following behind. 

“Mr. Lightwood” Victor straightened his suit and extended a hand to man. 

The man shook Victor’s hand before wrapping his arm around Isabelle’s shoulder “I enjoyed your show Simon, my sister has also said a lot of good things about you”

“Isabelle, I didn’t know your brother was the head of the record label” Victor said emphasizing the position the man held.

“oh, you’re Alec” Simon asked and Alec nodded.

“I’d like to see you in my office on Monday, you’ll need to start working on your album and you’ll need a new manager” Alec said.

“Mr. Lightwood he has a manager” Victor cut in.

“No, you’re fired. I’ll see you in my office as well Monday morning” Alec smirked “if you’ll excuse me I’m late for a date, Magnus” Alec turned and gestured to the door. 

~~  
“I was so scared, I thought I’d lose you forever” Simon said and stroked Raphael’s cheek with his thumbs. 

They laid interwind on their couch, in their apartment.

“You could never lose me, I’ll always be yours”


End file.
